The healing process, the process of being human of embodying all their humanity is non linear. As beings created from this earth, we are intrinsically tied to the patterns and cycles that many, in this modern day, ignore. Many think of the natural world as being separate from us. This is idea has been slowly and all at once constructed by the mind of man, pulling us farther from the truth until we are so isolated from one another we forget our souls connection to something bigger than us. Something bigger than the 4 walls we surround ourselves in, blinded by screens and activities to distract ourselves from the fact that we are all so out of sync.
Ive found more answers to my life if I align myself to the weather than attempting to align with any other “structure”. There is a wisdom in the changing seasons. The rise and set of the sun and moon and in the weather systems that pass. Life is meant to be experienced in real time but many of us are living and doing one thing while thinking about something else which means, we are not present with one another. And we are less and less able to be present with ourselves. If we want to heal, we need to slow way down and stop running from, denying or thinking around our hurts and buried wounds.
Healing is a turtle like movement, trudging along, slowly but with consistent gait of will and heart. Stepping forward with ancestral knowing it is bones. Resting within its own home, wherever that is in the moment. The turtle knows its pace and its sacred place. The turtle carries its home and its knowing, always safe and always whole.
Early on in my journey I wrote in my journal, If I am guided by the moon and grounded by the Earth, than everything in between is safe. I have come back to this statement with a full circle understanding that I, we, are very much a part of nature. Denying it, is denying life. We have a lot of collective work to do but if we listen to the wisdom of nature, we can start at turtles pace. Faster is not better when it comes to healing.
If healing is messy and it hurts, ALOT. It would be keen to look towards something of greater wisdom than our current systems. In my personal experience, healing could not and would not happen within the current health care structure. It just doesn’t work. The mind is with the hospital, the heart is with the therapist and the body….well the body is mostly forgotten, an after thought. And that is if you can afford and find the right care. Our very vehicle for life has been disconnected from our whole selves. So how do we forge and fuse it back together?
Healing starts within and with one. The internal knowing you are out of sync with your natural rhythm or the feeling of “not this” so loud you could burst is nature. Nature is screaming from the inside out to listen! Go ahead, listen.
So like a seed, you begin to dig. You dig up until you find light. Uncovering all the dirt that does not belong anymore. No matter how painful, you burst through the surface. But it is so harsh at first, you feel raw. But you keep on growing because of the knowing. As you keep practicing getting taller, you become stronger.
At a point, you have to let go of the life you used to lead. You have to fully shed everything external you used to know. There is a time for dormancy and hibernation. A need to let all the pieces fall and settle. Just as the trees drop their leaves, you drop the stories and the hurt. Just as the tree goes dormant, you rest. A period of stillness and reflection is required to allow for full embodiment again. This takes time and grace. It takes a pace much slower than that we are used to. Healing happens at the speed of nature, there is no forcing but just allowing, compassion and reverence.
You are allowed to stay at the bottom of the tree for as long as you need. There are no rules or timelines for your individual healing. Snuggle up at the roots and pull the leaves up around you. Listen to the wisdom here, where you body meets earth.
I have left the tree early, and that is part of the trial and error, the design build process. I have tried and failed but I never stopped trying. Each time, I let go more. I let more pieces fall away so I do not have to carry them anymore. And each time, I surrender into my humanity and rest my human body at the base of the tree. Each time I surrender back into the knowing that the healing within me needs more rest otherwise there will be no regeneration. There will be no re-imagination.
Take note when it rains and let the water nourish you. Pause when the fog falls and listen to the stillness in the air. Hold strong in darkness and stormy winds. We still stand through each system and cycle. You remain, unharmed but wiser for weathering the storms with your eyes open. Present for what they have to teach us. Surrendering into the natural rhythm within with no apologies.
“The Earth is my mother, I’m carried by the wind. Guided by the moon and the fire within.” Fia
When we get to the roots and we rest there, we can find our fire again. The truth and essence of you, of all of us is in the roots systems of the earth, where we came from and where we will return.
This cycle is never ending. If I keep my mindset and my pace at the speed of nature. I can make the space for growth within and around. Any faster, any forcing is working against the current and that just makes me too tired to feel the real and I get stuck in a different cycle of not being good enough. So I pause, sit and remember my pace, natures pace. I am good enough.
With kindness,
Rae
I have shared this poem before but it fits so nicely I will share it again.
LISTEN TO THE FOG The fog call for pause. Cloaked in stillness Surrounding us ALL This is the fabric that binds us. The fog arrives Carrying an understanding. Of the need to engulf. To immerse itself in life. To create presence When there seems to be none. The fog reminds us. Of the invisible net. Casting over us all. The nature that binds us. Immerse yourself in the fog. Just beyond the winds current. In the silent clearing. Is the space to be emergent. This is the wish of the weather. This is the wish of the winds. -Rae Delisle 4.2022
Wow, my darlin!
So much insight, vulnerability, pain revealed. But your continuing struggle, your bravery, your strength and determination shine through. Your light, your being.
Your drawings say it all.
So very beautifully expressed. Exquisite piece