Leaping into the unknown.
The courage to try something you have never done before. For me - A book study group for the Artist Way
I had decided to start to write in real time, instead of thinking and over thinking and then confusing the whole of it, unnecessarily. Instead of thinking it to death, losing the core nugget of wisdom along the way, I am just going to start writing, where I am at in this day.
Today I am going out on a limb. I am doing something I have never done before. Actually I started doing the thing I have never done before on Saturday. I went for it, I got involved and now, I am committed. Currently, there is a large group study of The Artist Way being facilitated by Marlee Grace. Through her substack she has gathered the people and provided the framework and guided us toward discord to self cluster. Im did not know what would come from it but I decided to offer up a theme for a cluster, immediately thinking it wouldn’t work, hello old brain, and then something happened. People started joining. They saw my post and felt my vision for this particular cluster.
The idea for my cluster is framed around spiritual creative living. Which is exactly what the book pulls us towards but in that pulling, there is quite a lot of deep work. My vision for the “study group” would be one where we could show up for each other weekly, hold space, allow each other to be heard and listened to deeply in the worst of our uncovering of soul self exploration and also cheered on for the wins and “ah ha” moments. Accountability to ourselves and the mission of supporting each other through the whole 12 weeks.
It really is a lot of time and if I think of the whole of it, I do get apprehensive and hope that I can fulfill the call. I think about all the time I have tried to show up in social situations and how misalignment and force would lead to misunderstanding within myself and the idea of connection. But there is something about this that makes so much sense to my intellectual brain but more importantly to my body. These creative types, the ones interested in spirituality and creativity. The ones who want so deeply to return to their soul led life. The ones who do not want to shy away but run towards the whole of it. These indeed feel like my people.
I do not want to build up too much into the positive of negative side of what could unfold over the next few weeks. Or even what will unfold today in the first meeting. I wish to leave it open and honest, because in reality I do not know how it will be. Until the have the courage and bravery to show up, meeting structure and nerves in tow.
I hope to not shake in the beginning of this meeting. But it is likely I will as I always do when something is new and involving other people. I hope to be clear in my voice and to have ample patience and open ears. I intend to be present and observing of not only myself but of those who are participating. I want to understand the group, meet them, and learn how we can make this the most beneficial to everyone in the ways they need.
I have hope. And that hope is magic waiting. I do believe.
Lets time travel shall we?
So here we are post meeting.
Im coming down from the energy influx. It was a success! Zoom linked worked, 8 attendees (including me) and everyone participating
I guess what I was going to do here is talk about how it went. But I would rather just leave it as what it was instead of analyzing it to death. Knowing we have set the groundwork for the study group and established a safe space to share and be vulnerable. Allowing it as a space to share ourselves, our experience with the book and insights, that inevitably inspires another in the group is really is quite beautiful.
I think about how this whole thing for me is an experiment. To try something new is to stretch your capacity. I didn’t think I would be good at it or know it would be a success. I had to try to do it to see how it would unfold externally and within my being, my brain and my perceived abilities. To my surprise and yet at the same time my knowing, I did okay and maybe even have the capacity to excel at guiding a group of people, together, on a singular (yet layered) purpose. Perhaps Im not afraid of this type of work anymore but curious.
What does this mean for me? What does this mean for the work I want to do in this world?
I do not know. But what I do know is that I am giddy at what the future holds for me. For this group of artists and for all of our soul work that will lead to something beautiful. The group itself is already something beautiful we have begun to co-create together. For me, this group connection and shared purpose is the texture of living life I have been dreaming of and healing towards for years.
I feel that these small yet huge wins are success to me. Progress to me. Self-actualizing and embodying the soul I have come to know. The fears melting as I take action towards the thing. The final thing? There is no final thing if I am still living but this is the direction I will pivot, taking this path, learning all I can and allowing the next step to inform the following.
In reverence,
Rae
I am so proud of you for stretching your comfort zone, for showing up when it is scary as hell, when old wounds and patterns still feel so raw. You are choosing connection despite the fear of rejection and that's darn courageous. ❤️❤️❤️